Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
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today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
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It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize