yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i think my cat just said my name.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
