Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
