SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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