i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
