no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
