Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
