guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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