All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
