he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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