you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
