normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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