Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize