I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
only if we run a train.
done.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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