So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
