he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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