operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
