so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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