you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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