you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
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Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
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Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.