We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.