I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My Sexting was not on an AP level