Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
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so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
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I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.