can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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