My liver just broke up with me...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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