areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
