two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
