You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
