hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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