I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I am never drinking with the goths again.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
