I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
