When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize