so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
