I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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