We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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