Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
