I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
