I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
