Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize