i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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