I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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