the new term for farting is butt boxing.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
