I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
