I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
