Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
