She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
