Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
