Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
