weddingsv make me drug and hornr
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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