bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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