I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
