Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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