Just took my morning after pill in the library
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
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I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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