AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
