No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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