once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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