is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize