So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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