Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
