I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
