What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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