youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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