I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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